Finally.

Bursting Seams

As we continue to prepare to grow our family, we have also been preparing our home. We had been working on a basement remodel, painting, and touching up several projects around our house and planned to get them all finished before our family and friends held a baby shower for us. Which was ambitious. We spent many late nights hanging crown molding on 100 year old plaster walls (not easy), touching up with caulk, and painting. If I never have to fill in another nail hole, I won’t be disappointed.

After some late nights, and long weekends, we got nearly every project complete and our house clean and free of drywall/plaster/etc. Dust! Finally. Major victory for my anxiety. The completion of projects also meant that we could finally get our basement space back! Travis has space for woodworking, I have space for painting and polying, and our very patient renters can get to their storage space again. The weight of these tasks on our to-do lists has been lifted!

On Sunday, our finally complete and clean home was filled. It was filled with wildflowers, decorations, and gifts. Filled with good food and drinks. Filled with people that support and care for us. And filled completely with love. Our little, old house was bursting at the seams. Our hearts are humbled and completely overwhelmed, and similarly bursting at the seams.

During this process our emotions have been on a rollercoaster of a ride. It often feels lonely to be on this journey that is so unlike the path that so many before us have walked. It’s difficult to relate to what we’re experiencing. It’s also difficult when facing so many unknowns: unknown timeline, unknown wait, unknown gender/race/ethnicity/prenatal experience, unknown birth parent(s), unknown location, unknown, unknown, unknown. So many unknowns.

But what we do know is this: our future babe will be so LOVED. So, so loved. Not only by us as we parent to the absolute best of our ability and growing base of knowledge, but by our friends and family. And we KNOW that this love will comfort all of us, as a family. We know that this love will keep us bursting at the seams through this next phase of the process and beyond. Because our village of people is incredible.

A few weeks ago my heart had been feeling heavy for the expectant mama that we haven’t yet met. That we don’t yet know. That is growing and giving life to our future baby. The weight of that heavy is hard to carry sometimes. It knocks the breath from my lungs and brings tears to my eyes. That weight brings irrational thoughts and worries. But that weight is strengthening my faith. That weight drives me to light a candle each week for our mama. It drives me to pray every. single. day. That she is loved. That she is supported. That God holds her in His hands. It drives me to cling onto my husband as I prayerfully plead that she is okay. That she feels our love and prayers and finds peace is her process.

APPROVAL.

Those prayers will only be getting bigger because our Home Study was officially approved and signed off by all needed parties, notarized, and sent off to the agencies that will be sharing our profile with expectant parents. In the weeks to come, we will be deciding which situations we would like to present to, expectant parents will be deciding which profiles they choose to move forward with, and we will be praying BIG prayers. Big prayers for guidance as we navigate this next phase. Guidance that we know our capabilities and can uphold them. Big prayers that we let God lead us and give us direction. Big prayers for every expectant parent that is navigating an even more incredible path and choice. That they are comforted and wrapped in God's embrace. Please join us in these prayers in the coming days and weeks.